Dream House?

Banned from the Xbox and the computer for the weekend, our son was itching for some screen time, any screen time. Desperate, he actually asked his little sister if he could watch a Barbie movie with her.

Love and Marriage: Part 2

My spouse is a bit of an exercise freak. Five mornings a week at the gym plus CrossFit as many times as he can cram it in, and something on Saturday --remember, this is the man who takes his jump rope on vacation. Upon occasion, I note that his zeal borders on obsession and, yes, I find it annoying it sometimes cuts into family activities. Maybe this is his form of the previously noted "mid-life crisis." Still I thank my lucky stars that he isn't out with a twinkie.

Ode to House Rules

I meandered into our office
remnants of the evening's cocktail in hand.
My spouse unceremoniously expelled me from the room.
No food or drink out of the kitchen.
No exceptions.

Love and Marriage

Perhaps chalk it up to mid-life crises, but my spouse and I know several marriages that have either weathered the storm or are kaput due, in part, to infidelity. So when he comes home and I haven't folded the laundry or dinner isn't anywhere close to being served or, like the other day, I've rendered the Internet useless and  he has to spend an hour and a half of grief with Time Warner just to find out that I've accidentally put the computer in "Airplane Mode," I have a reassuring refrain: "but I didn't cheat on you today."

Scope It Out

I had the pleasure of getting it from both ends --an endoscopy and a colonoscopy at the same time! Unfortunately, the doctor could not perform the latter. Seems I'm still full of shit. Big surprise.