Woof

I may be a bitch, but I am not a dog. Someone tell my mother, please. She's given her poodles human names and calls them her children.

Now, I understand and appreciate the bond between people and their pets. But now that I have children, I realize a distinct difference between the love for them and the love for, say, a Labrador. My mother knows her references to the dogs as children offends me, and yet she persists.

So the day she tells me her child is having surgery (and I know it's not me), I call my brother to warn him, because he's about to be neutered.